Monday, October 13, 2008

oh discernment

So, God might want me to do an internship in a tiny town in the middle of noplace and i'm just a little bit rebellious/doubting/scared as shit.

Here's the interaction.
me: God, i'm all scared and stuff. what should i do?
god (in the form of the choir director): tomorrow our choir song will be "Lord, I'm Available to You" (Milton Brunson's arrangement).
[significant lyrics: i'll do what you say do... use me, Lord... blah blah BLAH, and the oh-so-poetic line "my storage is empty and i am available to you."]
me: arrrrggghhhh, i don't want to sing that in front of the whole congregation. oh well, okay God. I'll sing it, and even pretend I mean it.

next day:
me: So, okay, God, i'll be available and open, but make it clear what i'm actually supposed to do, okay?
God: [THIS IS WIERD, GOD IS USING A NOVEL??] allrighty then, here's a book that happens to be assigned for your theology class, wherein someone goes to that very town to which you don't want to go, and hangs out with the trinity in a cabin for a weekend.
me: what the *@#$*%, that's a little bit clear, and a little bit creepy, god.

etc. So, the roadtrip starts in a bit less than a week, and we'll see what this place is really about. Please, someone, tell the blessed lord to stop messing with my head.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

I am going to miss my job

I learn so much behind a cash register. Who woulda thunk it? I'm quitting really soon, so I can study more Greek... but in the meantime I just love the job.

A customer taught me a lesson last week. He's one of these hippies that just exudes serenity... he's so centered that you couldn't knock him off center if you tried with a barrel of monkeys and silly string. So he walks calmly up to my register, calmly and accidentally knocks a whole bunch of stuff off a shelf with his backpack, calmly puts it back, buys his groceries, etc. Somehow in the course of our one-minute interaction I manage to apologize about a dozen times (sorry-empathy for the knocking stuff over, and then sorry-too-bad, and then sorry-i'm-awkward when I miscount his change, drop some pennies, etc.)
HE called me out on it and said DON'T APOLOGIZE. It's not your fault. Who would blame you? I don't blame you. In fact, I'm not upset at all -- i'm Mr. Unruffled, remember?

the moral of this story is: Preemptive apologies, and this business of trying to anticipate what someone else is feeling, is a whole bunch of NOTHING. Save your apologies for the tricky ones, the real wrongs, and for those people to whom you don't actually want to apologize, instead! =)