One of the hardest things for me here is getting used to living alone. I grew up in a large family in a small apartment, and in college I had an apartment full of friends; in seminary I lived with 8 in community (sharing chores and grocery money); in between I volunteered in a Ugandan orphanage, i.e. lived with 200 attention-needy children. And now, little old me in this big house... right. It's an adjustment.
Last week I realized one thing I was particularly missing -- sharing music. I've got my own little musical rut, the things I like, the repeated playlists that I've memorized. Whereas when you live in a big house of people you're always trading inspirations, sharing playlists, putting up with unwanted strange music you unexpectedly find yourself enjoying.
So apparently God thought I had an attitude problem about this. Yknow, one of those "life is so miserable, nobody cares, look at my lame little life" attitude problems. I think this because I suddenly started getting music from other people.
One of the elderly ladies I regularly visit went through her gospel music collection and gave me a half-dozen CDs to borrow. okay, nice, I thought, even if the music isn't completely my taste.
Yesterday at church I walked into Sunday School and a member of the class stretched out his hand to me with a mixtape in it. He just thought I'd like it. (wow? hm... what am I supposed to learn from this?)
Today I got my oil changed at a garage in town. I left a CD in the player when I left the car with them, and both of the mechanics who worked on my car came up to me and told me how much they enjoyed the music (Amy Grant and a mix of other oldschool Christian stuff). One then said "hold on" and ran to his own car and pulled out a CD for me to borrow. I can bring it back to him anytime.
Increasingly amazed by this I drove away and stuck the CD in. The first song came on, "I Surrendur All" and it hit me, and I laughed/cried/wondered my way home. This whole thing wasn't about the music, it was God telling me that I'll be taken care of. It's about trust, about receiving from others.... about putting grateful roots down (right where I am) and drinking deep from what God has put in my way.