Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Leaving my job

The news went out in our newsletter today... I will not be working at Montclair Presbyterian next year. I've been working at this wonderful, wonderful church for nearly a year and a half, first with youth and children, then with the grownups. I've had a lot of joy there, in singing and Godly-playing, studying and dancing and counseling. However, the job description is changing. I worked quarter time, third-time, then half time, but as of January it's going to full-time, and it will include all of the previous areas I've worked in - and then some.

I applied for the full time job, interviewed with much trepidation, and spent a lot of time wondering, quite angstily, whether I could live up to the high expectations of this job. So when I was told that the committee was pursuing another candidate, I actually breathed a sigh of relief. It's not the right fit, and I'm glad we all know that. It sounds like they really wanted me to be the right person for the job, and it took a lot of discernment on their part as well as mine to come to the realization that this just isn't the right job for me.

I'm sad to be leaving the church. They are a wonderful set of people and as I said, I've had great joys in this job. However I know I'll still find a way to keep in touch, whether as a guest musician or just as a friend. Recently I've had jealousy of those folks who can just be "part of" a church without taking leadership. It looks like so much more fun. Maybe I'll be able to slip in, every once in a while, as a person who's just here... just a part of things... not in the middle of it all. That might not be easy, but I'm going to try my darndest to disappear from the limelight and just be happy to be a part of things.

Up next? Children of Uganda's Tour of Light, of course -- the biggest thing I've ever done in my life. I'll be in Uganda prepping the dance troupe from December 10th to January 8th, then we begin our great 7-week tour of the US. After that, I'll finally put some long-overdue work into my thesis, and apply for CPE programs at local hospitals (clinical pastoral education, otherwise known as emotional boot camp for pastors). Or maybe just sail away and sing sea chanteys for a living. It'll be an adventure.

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